Fabulous? or Stupidity?

Once again, I am "working" extremely hard. Check out this diamond teabag I saw on "The Fabulous Life."

You have got to be kidding me. $14,000 for a filter holding dirt and leaves?! Sometimes I just wonder what rich people are thinking. If you have that much money to spend and are thinking about buying a teabag with it, then you should really put it to better use and check into an institution.

Easily Amused

I've been staring at this for at least a half an hour. This is what I like to call "working." It has only just now occurred to me that maybe this isn't the best way to rest my eyes after retouching pictures in Photoshop all day.

Boycott of the Day

I am a big fan of boycotting. I truly believe that if a company isn't out to serve you, then why bother spending your money there. Of course, that isn't the only reason to boycott. I tend to make up lots of little rules in my twisted head, and then am compelled to follow them, seeing as they are my rules.

For example, I have never set foot in a Walgreen's in my life (and never will), due to the fact that my best friend was treated horribly by a manager in Alabama seven years ago. I refuse to eat at Happy Buffet, or Happy Crab, because the name sounds as if the health department should visit there frequently. Bank of America is SATAN. Radio Shack's employees are brain damaged, and I would never go into a Wendy's, if not for the fact that my boyfriend thinks that it is a five star restaurant. As a result, I am forced against my will to eat there at least once a week. Thank the gods they have good salads.

Anyway, my new boycott of the day is KFC. Let me tell you a little story about last night. It's not that great of a story, but it pissed me off, so please just humor me and listen a little while longer. Here we go...

It's about 8:00pm. I pull into the drive thru of KFC at Hilltop. There is no one there, no people inside or in the parking lot, and no one at the drive thru. I pull out to the talking-box-speaker-thing, and there I wait. And wait. And wait.

Five minutes later the voice speaks, "Welcome to KFC, would you like to try our whateverstupidspecialofthedayis? Order when your ready."

At this point, my eyes have rolled at least 15 times, but I say, "I'd like to order a number 1 wi..."
"Do you want original or extra crispy?"

Make that 16 eye rolls. If you let me friggin talk... "Extra Crispy. And I woul..."

"Did you say extra crispy?"

17. "Yes, I did. Can I g..."

"What sides did you want with that?"

18. "I want mashed potatoes for both sides, but I want no..."

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we only have don't have extra crispy in the breast, did you want original?"

19. No, you dumb bitch, I want a hamburger. "That's fine, and can I get the mashed potatoes with no..."

"Okay,sothat'sanumberonewithmashedpotatoeswithgravybothsidesdidyouwantanything
elsewiththattoday?"

20. "Yes, I do, but I don't want any gravy on the mashed potatoes. I also want..."

"Okay, no gravy on the mashed potatoes. Anything else?"

21. Yeah, I want you to quit interrupting me. "Yes, I want another..."

"Oh Ma'am, I'm sorry, did we DO have the breast in extra crispy. Did you want that instead?"

22. No shit, that's what I wanted in the first place. "Yes, and I want another breast and a famous bowl."

"Ok,soIhaveanumberoneextracrispywithmashedpotatoesnogravy,anextrabreastandafamous
bowlwillthatbeallforyoutoday?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Okay, your total is $11.42, please drive up."

Lord love a duck. I drive up to the window, and before the girl decides to come to the window, I realize that I forgot to order extra biscuits, because the idiot kept cutting me off. Eye roll 23. So, when she opened her window, I said, "I'm sorry, can I add an order of biscuits to that?"

"Oh, no, I can't take add on's at the window."

24. 25. 26. 27. You have got to be kidding me. Remember, there is no one in the store, and no one in front or in back of me. I looked at her like her she was wearing her bra outside of her shirt and said, "Are you telling me that with no one in the store, and no one in line, that I have to wait here for my food, then drive around the building; talk into the speaker, and then come back to this window again when you are standing in front of me in person right now?"

"Uh-huh."

29. 30. 31. 32. "You have lost your damn mind. Here," and I hand her my money. At this point, I should have just left, but Randy NEVER asks for anything, and he asked for KFC, so I stayed.

And waited. And waited. 33.

Finally, she comes to the window and says, "Ma'am, we're just waiting on your biscuit, could you pull around the building, and we'll bring your food out to you."

34-40. HELL NO, I AM NOT PULLING AROUND THE BUILDING! I looked at her with my eyes now stuck in the back of my head and said, "No Ma'am; I am not pulling around the building. There is no one waiting here but me, and here is where I will wait. If I won't drive around for 4 biscuits, then I am certainly not driving around for 1. I don't know what your fascination is with wanting me to drive around the parking lot like it's a go cart track, but I am not going anywhere."

This child's face was classic horror. Needless to say, they found a biscuit on the floor or something, cause my food came out lickety-split.

I drove off and screamed obscenities all the way home.

*************************************************

Whew, I feel better getting all of that out.

My point, boys and girls, is that KFC is now on the boycott list. I work very hard licking butt all day long for stupid people spending their money with me. When I decide to spend my money, I want my butt licked as well. If corporations don't give a shit about quality of service, then I will no longer contribute to thier mansions and face lifts.

If everyone had boycott lists, maybe things would be different.

BTW....Places that Kick Ass (at least here in Virgina Beach):

Towne Bank
Barnes & Noble
Silver Diner
Bad Ass Coffee
Hancock Fabrics

See No Evil

If you think the world can't get any more stupid, turn on the television. Start at channel 2 and flip through. If you can make it to 99 without your eyes rolling in the back of your head, well, then you are just as stupid as the television itself. Sometimes I can't even believe that I actually voluntarily pay money for the crap that passes for entertainment in America. Alas, I am a girl of simple pleasures, and so a marathon of "Flavour of Love" can actually make me laugh to tears in spite of myself.

Today, though, the hair up my ass is the obnoxious censorship. The other day, during my daily flip through, I came across one of those breast implant surgeries. Here is this woman's boobs, a cut and mangled bloody mess, and I swear to God, the nipples were blurred out. Ewwww. I mean, are we really thinking that someone is getting off on this? Are we worried about what our kids are watching? Are we prudes and think that nipples are a private matter and should only be viewed never? Are we in 6th grade health class?

If you're getting off on this, then wow, good for you, whatever floats your boat. If your kids are watching this, then what the hell is wrong with you? If you think that nipples are private, then quit watching someone's friggin surgery. And in 6th grade, when we had to learn all about breast cancer, there were nipples.

It isn't just the stupid nipples. Nothing aggravates me more than trying to watch a movie when they have taken out curse words and replaced them with fluffy non offensive statements so as not to offend anyone. Give me a friggin break. I watched 8mile the other night, and they were even blurring the finger when people were being flipped off. Add that to the blanked out rap lyrics, and that one was a must see.

Even something so simple as the movie "Election" with Reese Witherspoon. At the end of the movie, Matthew Broderick is at a museum looking at cavepeople. The privates on the cavepeople were blurred out. Give me a break.

I would like to know just who were the rocket scientists that decided to syndicate "Sex and the City" and put "Boogie Nights" on TBS. My eyes are stuck in the back of my head just thinking about it.

What can you expect from a country who riots over video games?

Grow up America.

Lucky

Once upon a time, I had a friend who I adored beyond all reason. We were an extremely missmatched pair. I believed, however that we were destined to be the greatest of friends. Maybe we were, and maybe we weren't, who's to say? Alas, no one would ever know the answer. One horrible January day, I made a grave mistake, one that could never be undone, and I lost him forever.

Flash forward 11 years. Here I am, alive and well. I am blessed with a soulmate, the one who sees the child in me, even after knowing every deep, dark secret hiding within. Hugs and kisses, and declarations of love fly through the air all day, every day.

As for friends, well, no one could have been dealt a better hand than myself. I have made some and lost some, and come through with the pick of the litter. In this world filled with horrors, my little bubble is filled with laughter and love.

Now I sit here smiling, as I type. I started out ready to rant about the aggravating shortcomings of those I love and devote my life to. I ended up laughing to myself about the endearing quirks of the people who love me despite my own shortcomings.

Chick Night

Jennah and I stayed up until 4:00am watching movies. Some good, some bad (ahem....The Lake House....Keanu should stick to the Matrix). The highlight of the evening, I have to say, was 1 hour and 54 minutes of Johnny Depp in "The Libertine". This boy is some kind of yummy (at least until his nose rots off).


Written by Stephen Jeffreys and directed by Laurence Dunmore, it tells the story of the Earl of Rochester, John Wilmot (Depp), a 17th century poet who drank and screwed himself to syphillis and death by age 33.


The movie received awful criticism from pretty much everyone, but I loved it. It did seem to drag a bit at the end, and if the Hollywood Blockbuster is your thing, then ya probably should leave it on the shelf. If you're into indies and you want to see Johnny's nose rot off, then rush out and grab this one today.