Home Sweet Home

I swear, I'm going to change the title of this blog to "I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but..." Sorry guys, I just have so many things going on in my ultra exciting universe.

I went to Louisiana last week, because I was homesick, and there were some folks that I just couldn't stay away from anymore. It was an amazing trip, and a great deal of my life's wishes came true. There were lots of tears,and lots of laughter, and of course, I ate lots of food.

It was wonderful to see my family and my friends again, the people that I love and have missed so dearly. The more things change, the more they stay the same. One of the best things was seeing that everyone is sprouting little minature versions of themselves. Crystal's got a little devil with the face of an angel, Mitzi's got a little showoff, and Skipper has got a little bohemian. Though, there was a couple of upsetting moments... seeing Sam actually order her own alcohol, and the horrifying discovery that one of my best friends made out with my ex-boyfriend during ring ceremony (her name has been intentionally left out, because I am a MUCH better friend than she is, and would never get her in trouble.... hahaha).

A great deal of my adventure was far to special for me to even write about. I think I'll keep those precious memories tucked safely inside my heart for awhile.

Of course, the visit wasn't near long enough; I wish I had a month to spare. And of course, now I am even more homesick than I was before. But the anxiety is gone, and I doubt it will resurface again. I am finally beginning to find a place for my past. And I certainly won't be staying away for very long.

Now I am back in Virginia Beach, and glad to be with my Peanut again. Back to the tourists, and the beach, and the aggravations of real life. Golly wouldn't it be great if we could just pick up and go?

Magical Beach

Yeah for some, maybe.

I intended to write this full of wit and sarcasm, detailing the insanity that is Virginia Beach. But, for once, words failed me, and I am too heavy hearted for the sarcasm that masks my feelings.

The honest truth... I hate it here, and every day that goes by leaves me feeling more and more suffocated.

I hate the beach. I hate the tourists. I hate the locals. I hate the traffic. I hate the jets. I hate the hoodlums. I hate the police. The list is endless; I hate everything about being here.

Every day, I wonder, "How do I fix this? How do I get out of here? What am I going to do?" Then, life's daily hurdles take over, and I forget that I am trapped like an animal in a cage. The thought of being caged this way forever leaves me saddened and bitter.

I can't see the way out; I can't figure out how to turn it all around. Every time I think I am taking a step forward, life is kind enough to knock me five steps back. I'm starting to learn that it is a pointless struggle.

Luckily, I know how to put on a happy face and pretend to the universe that all is well. I am the strong one after all... isn't that right? Tough as nails; I can handle anything... or so everyone keeps telling me.

Ooooh, the sarcasm is back; the mask must be falling back over my face.

There is no magic here.

My New Love

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. It's rare that a boy can stick with me for very long. Alas, my two year relationship with Jamie came to an ugly end the other night. It was meant to be; we had been having problems for awhile now. I cried a bit, but I have moved on.

Meet my new love, Charlie. Charlie is a girl, because I have enough boys to love. She's pretty damn sweet, not at all tempermental. Of course, chicks don't show their true colors for awhile, so I am taking this new relationship slow, until I am sure that she is worthy of my undying love and devotion.

Still, though, we're having a pretty good time getting to know each other. AND! She doesn't mind all of my prior baggage that I have loaded her with.

New loves are always fantastic adventures!

KimPossible Dreams

Man, I am so not kidding... Kim Possible has got to be the hottest cartoon chick since Jessica Rabbit.

I know; I know; it's sick. She's a cartoon. An UNDERAGE cartoon at that.

Still... Damn!

Here We Go

Well, it's unofficially Spring down at the beach (if by Spring, one means 30 degrees). Time to get back to work, dust off the cobwebs, clean the sand off of the windows, and get ready for the tourists. For me, this also means time to break out the longjohns, coffee pots, and blankets, and get ready to freeze to death while watching the retard tourists that decide to vacation at the beach in March.

It's always fun to walk down the strip now, if you can stand the cold. Minor construction is going on down every block; ladders and skill saws are resting in every other storefront. There's always a new business opening, and for about 2 days, it's interesting to wonder what will be there. (It's only interesting for 2 days, because there is only so much awe and wonder a person can have for a tourist shop). It's cool to chat with fellow beach workers, quick fill in conversations about wonderful winters, and excitement about being back to work and the upcoming season.

These conversations always make me smile, because the "beginning of the season" conversations certainly differ from the "end of the season" ones. By Labor Day, these smiling exciting faces will be replaced by run down, weary forced smiles... everyone counting the days until all of the evil miserable tourists are gone.

Shoot, I'm doing that already. :)

Neptune

I'm really not digging the King Neptune statue on 31st Street.

You know, I try not to go down that far, because construction on that stupid Hilton monstrosity works on my nerves. But, I had no choice the other day, and was driving past, and I swear to the gods (no pun intended), it looks as if it GROWS every time I see it.

It's got to be the tackiest thing I have ever seen in my life. I can't believe that thing doesn't scare the living shit out of kids. The "artists" that came up with this contraption are certainly suffering from massive cases of penis envy.

Did we really pay money for this? Couldn't we have all just chipped in for a Taco Bell or something?

Fried Computer/Fried Nerves

Well, this week started out just peachy keen.

There was a power surge on Sunday night at my house, and it fried my computer. I basically had a conniption fit, as I am known to do from time to time. It didn't last long, though, I was calmed by my most precious of friends, who helped me get started on the road to restoring my most prized possession, and basically held my hand through the entire obnoxious ordeal (which has lasted DAYS). Thank you, love bug... I'd be in an institution if it wasn't for you... YOU ARE THE BEST!

This whole week has made me realize that what I need to do is go and live with an African Zulu Pygmy tribe.... far far far away from electricity and gadgets of any kind.

Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I really am going to kill all of my friends. I know that we all go crazy from time to time, but does everyone have to be a fucking nutball at the same time? Can't we take turns or something? I really can't take much more.

I'm not going to air anyone's dirty secrets. Oh yeah, I am; I'm just not naming names. Here's what I'd like to say to the lot of em, instead of smiling and saying, "mmmm-hmmm."

* Why the hell are you pissed off because you can't get unemployment? YOU QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you want money, get your lazy ass back to work, and quit bitching about it to everyone.

* A 6 year old child that rolls his eyes and talks back to adults has no business getting his own video game system 2 months after Christmas.

* If you can't pay your mortgage, how bout giving up your 6 vacations a year?

* Karma is a bitch....but only if you are first. Show some consideration for other people once in awhile, and good things might happen for you.

* If you are so bored, why don't you get a friggin hobby instead of pouting like a damn baby. Don't be mad cause everyone else isn't licking your ass. Not all of us are content to stare at the wall all day long.

* Is there some reason you feel the need to argue for every little thing on the planet?

* You broke up!! AGES AGO!!!! Leave the goddamned girl alone!!!! Quit calling her boyfriend; quit calling her. IT"S OVER!!!!!

* You can't ignore all of the rules of life and go about doing whatever you please without suffering the consequences.

* If you don't put oil in your car for 2 years, don't act shocked as shit when the engine blows and it costs you $4,000 to fix it.

* When you know you're going to have to pay $4,000 to fix your car, what the fuck are you doing getting a $600 tattoo?

* QUIT DRINKING THAT FUCKING POISON THAT IS RUINING YOUR GODDAMNED LIFE!!!!!!!!!

Growing Up

I am one of those obnoxious souls that never thinks before doing anything. Usually, I justify my ignorance by saying that I am a "free spirit" or some other bullshit statement. The truth is...I JUST DON'T FUCKING THINK! About anything! Ever!

Oh no, that's not true. I think. After I've screwed up. Theeeen I think about the aftermath and consequences of my actions. I'm constantly digging holes for myself that I need to climb back out of later, rarely ever realizing that it's my own fault. Today I narrowly missed digging a bottomless pit that I would never be able to climb out of. It was a frightening wake up call.

There are far more important things than flitting around the universe being cute and adorable.

I can no longer afford to be so cavalier about life.

Passing Time

Okay, so I know I haven't posted in awhile, but I have been extremely busy.

Doing what? I have no idea.

I can't seem to find enough time in the day to do anything anymore. Sleeping used to be my favorite activity. Now it aggravates me. I'm wasting precious hours that could be devoted to doing lord only knows what.

But, just in case you are interested, here's a little rundown of my activities of the last couple of weeks:

* Helped Elisa move. Gonna have to do it again soon. Lucky for her, she's moving near Chick's Beach, which is my fav spot in the city. Now she's going to be stuck with me forever.

* Got sick. Really sick with some ugly, nasty stomach bug. I lived, though, in case you were wondering.

* Aidan (my cat) got sick. Hospital sick. Poor boy; he's home now with new food and new medicine, which took my rent money, so now we might have to go and live in a box.

* Got to hang out online and catch up with my sister, which has been pretty cool. It's her birthday today too! Happy big day, Chrys!!!!!!!!

* My car is starting to hate me. I am crossing my fingers that it holds out until next month, so I can spend THAT rent check on it.

* I had to add 200 minutes to my cell phone plan, because I went over on my minutes in 2 weeks last month. Apparently that didn't help, because I have now done the same thing this month. Hmmm, maybe that is where my precious time is slipping away to.

* Oh yeah, I BROKE the goddamn phone last month, too. Cracked it right in half. Now I have a new one that is way cooler.

I think that's about it. Yes, I know; I'm a simple person.

Gotta Go?

The new TV commercial for the Clearblue Easy pregnacy test says, (I kid you not):

THE EASIET PREGNANCY TEST YOU WILL EVER PEE ON!!!

I can't even begin to comment.

Creepy Folks

Ok, so the new chick at the 7eleven creeps me the fuck out.

The strange thing is that I don't get creeped out easily by folks. I'm pretty easy going, considering the vast array of odd personalities making up my friends and family, not to mention the wonderful assortment of cartoon characters roaming Virginia Beach. Most of the crazy people I come into contact with give me hours of entertainment.

* The crazy homeless guy that lives behind the Fun House and screams constantly at god knows what.

*My crazy stalker guy that used to have his own T-Shirts and hats made up, saying stuff like "Big Pimpin", and "Masta Gangsta" in huge block type letters.

*Ray, the driver of the "Red Neck Taxicab"...yall have got to call A-1 cab and ride around with Ray for just 5 minutes. He makes me want to pee myself. Ray actually screams rodeo calls at passing cars.

*"The Leafblower Lady" who lives in my neighborhood. This woman spends hours.....HOURS!!! every single day blowing "leaves" out of her yard. Except that there are no leaves. There's not even grass. Sometimes, I leave the house, and come back 4 hours later, and she's still blowing nothing around her yard. The other day, she was under her trailer blowing nothing out from under it.

*The crazy dyke bitch 7eleven Nazi on Cypress. This bitch is nuts. People with tiny amounts of power crack me up. I've seen this nutball card a 55 year old woman for cigarettes, refuse to exchange a newspaper because a customer bought the wrong one, and refuse service to someone who was paying with $3 in quarters. She made the mistake of carding me once, (when I only go in there twice a fucking day), and I told her to fuck off, so she's just as sweet as she can be now.

Anyway, my point is that all of those folks (and hundreds more) are just as nutty as they can be, and it's all good, but this new gal? Hmmmm, I just don't know about her.

First, she's got bug eyes. And she walks around the store and swings her arms about, like she's walking in a field of wheat in the summer time. And then she turns and looks at you and smiles (with her bug eyes), and it's the creepiest smile on the planet, like if you were alone with her, she'd spend hours hacking you into tiny little pieces. When you check out at her register, she picks up everything verrrrrry slowly, and looks at it, turning your bag of Doritos around and around, studying it. Then she announces, "oooookkay, Dorrrittttossss" like that, realllllllllly slowly, and she does it with everything you have. THEN she'll start cracking up at something you bought, and says, "HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I just LOOVEEEEEEE Dr. Pepper!! Isn't it great!?!"

UH-huh, yes it is.

Then she looks at you with her bug eyes so intently, ....ooooooh, I know! It's like a praying mantis, who is about to eat it's mate's head. I swear!

Honest to goodness, she makes me want to run out of there screaming.