Clumsy

Well, this just fucking sucks!!!

I sprained my ankle tonight, pumping gas. Only me. Actually, I hurt both of my ankles, and so now I can't walk. I am stuck on the couch, unable to do shit. Yes, sitting on the couch doing nothing is what I do all day anyway, except that tonight, I actually had real things to do!!!!!!!!

SON OF A BITCH!!! I AM SO FUCKING AGGRAVATED!!!!!!!!

Winter Solstice...December 21, 2006

Happy Winter Solstice!

Rememberance, Life, Renewal, Mother Nature, Faith

Eating My Words

Okay, okay, I take it all back.

I have now become one of those stupid girls who waits anxiously for her special text message of the day. I am rolling my eyes at myself.

I HATE eating my own words, but I can't lie. Hearing that ring, and seeing that little mailbox on my phone brings out the biggest smiles and the worst case of the giggles imaginable. And boy-oh-boy...I can't punch those buttons fast enough to reply!

I have prided myself on being a non-girl for so long. Brendan even told me the other day that I wasn't really a "real" girl. All of my rules are breaking; another one (at least) every day. Next up is going to be dresses and heels (golly, I hope not!) I guess the fart jokes are going to go away too.

Doesn't matter....as long as I have the smiles and giggles.

Life is good.

What Is The Point...

...of text messaging on a cell phone? I'm not quite sure that people are understanding the whole concept of it all. Maybe it's just that there is something wrong with me, but I am just not getting this supposedly "wondrous" new fad.

OK, so you pay fifty bucks a month (or whatever, don't write me and tell me what you pay) for a cell phone. You have upteen number of minutes every single month to call and talk to anyone you want. Long distance is free. Nights and weekends are free. It's the easiest thing to use in the world, it's a telephone, for heaven's sake!!!!

Now, instead of using this fast, simple method of communication, you decide instead to turn what would have been a 5 minute conversation into a 60 minute ordeal. Let's say you get one of these oh-so-exciting messages from Sally Sue. Your phone rings (like they do), and instead of just flipping it open or pressing a button to answer, you have to press 5 buttons to get to the stupid message from Sally Sue, (who is extremely quick-witted) saying, "whazzup?" Now it's your turn. You click 5 more buttons, get to your little message screen, and spend the next 10 minutes crafting your clever response by hitting 243 buttons, only to end up with "nuttin". Then you hit "send" and wait. 10 more minutes go by, and here comes the bleeping sound, alerting you that Sally Sue has something extremely important to say. You go through the entire ordeal again, and to your delight you find her message saying, "im wurkin it sux". On and on the cycle goes, sometimes at $.99 per text. These are the same people who will not write a letter on paper because "snail mail" is slow.

Ummmmm, yeah right. I'm not spending $796 to send you stupid dumbass comments when you should have called me for free in the first place. I'm not screwing around with buttons for 3 hours when my own mouth runs at about 7 million words a minute.

Most of my folks know not to bother me with the text crap, except for Jen, who just learned this fun game. She does it constantly; I swear by all that is good in the world, sometimes she CALLS me and tells me that she is going to text me. She can barely use the phone itself; technology flies over her head, and yet she's figured this out. I finally had to program my email into her phone so that they come to my computer instead of my phone.

So don't bother blowing up my phone with texts explaining the wonders of this stupid game. I don't even check my voicemail; I am sure as hell not pushing 3098 damn buttons just to hear that you are going to WalMart today. (Unless you are buying me something at WalMart, in which case....CALL ME ON THE FRIGGIN PHONE!)

The Shame of My Sister

Crystal doesn't remember the Fairy Fairy?!?!?!?!?!?!??! This is the most disturbing news that I have ever recieved in my life. The Fairy Fairy must be crying right now.

Crystal Dawn, I love you to pieces......

When I think now about the painstaking lengths that Karen and I went through, just to make sure that the friggin Fairy Fairy came every night for you and Kate.....sigh.
Karen, just think...all of the candy we lost, all of our allowances we so willingly gave to our precious sisters, soley because we loved them so much. We would be SO RICH today. I remember actually getting into trouble when we decided that the Fairy Fairy needed to retire; and we had to keep doing it...forced to do good deeds against our wills for all of eternity.
Ok, so maybe it wasn't totally out of sisterly love, but out of a desperate need to get them to shut up and behave.

The Fairy Fairy will always be one of my favorite childhood memories.

Holiday Treasures

I can't even begin to express the euphoria of this last week. My life has seen a great deal of blessings, but none can compare to the precious gifts that I have received in the last few days.

Reuniting with the past has forever been my biggest fear. As with all memories, the good must come with the bad. It is difficult to look back on one's mistakes without feeling shame, and sometimes it is difficult to look past the horrors and see the joy.

Most turning points in life come unexpectedly, as my life has shown time and again. Never would I have imagined on Sunday, that my life would alter forever by Saturday. To be reunited with a loved one is a blessed event. To be reunited with the three most influential people of your life, all at once, well.... it's unimaginable. My senses are on overload.

For the first time, I see that the pieces of my past and present may fit into my life puzzle after all.

How can I begin to thank you?

To Karen: My Sister, in every truest sense of the word... For once, my words seem to fail me. How to describe such a bond? From the beginning of time, you were always by my side, stumbling through endless pitfalls and triumphs. As I sit here, my mind is flooded by a torrent of memories, and I find myself laughing and crying, watching two little girls growing, sharing, loving, fighting, and playing...oblivious to the rest of the world. Finding you again is like finding a lost piece of my soul.

To Brenda: My Moosie, my Mother, who took me into her family, and loved me as one of her own... In the warmth of your home, I learned how to fly! You opened my eyes to a world of wonders; without you, I never would have seen the the beautiful colors of life. You taught me how to follow a different path, and how to find the beauty of the world around me. I am thrilled to show you the radiant bird that I am now....a swan, who would have been a duck forever, without your nest.

and of course,

To David: My Conscience, always the driving force of my life... Throughout these last 12 years, I have always heard your voice in my head, guiding me and shaping me into the person I am today. Never a day has gone by, that I haven't thought of you, and ached to share my life with you. I have missed your friendship terribly.